Watch your Words

Confesión número cinco: Our inclination to judge keeps us from reaffirming others’ beauty

After a long hiatus from my confesiones, I really feel the urge to continue to give my thoughts a new home in addition to their palace in my mind because they are on overdrive most days.

I want to get a few things off my chest that I hope gets us all moving in the right direction, especially females but really the entire human race (yes, fellas, I guess you are kinda human most days). My girl Irene alerted me to Operation Beautiful, which in essence, reminds women of their worth and beauty by leaving post-it notes in unsuspecting locations that say "You are beautiful". A bit corny or syrupy sweet, yes but, I deem, very necessary. Now, our cynical worldview often tells us that “it’s all about me” and “eff the world”, but since that has done zilch to move us forward, I am all for people trying each other like people – not savages. Spreading a positive word can lessen the sting that most of us feel from the negative "vampires" in our lives.

Most importantly, the judgments --- THEY HAVE TO GO. In the past week, I have experienced from the pettiest to the most cutting attacks to my character, my choices and overall realized the attacks were on me. Now, as an experienced side-eyer (yes, it is a word) and confident woman, I usually do not let it get to me. But, it has me thinking more carefully about what I say and why I say anything to anyone-- from a cherished friend to the homeless dude on the corner--- words matter. Intent often does not match the impact of our words, and I would rather use my words wisely to speak a logical truth that to just spew utter nonsense into the universe. God, Allah, Buddha, Shiva, Mother Nature --- don’t like ugly so please cut it out.

And, one more thing, it is not about freedom of speech; it is beyond your constitutional right to say what you want. All I am saying is that with such a precious freedom, many of us lacked the responsibility to use our words to lift others up but just aggrandize ourselves, our views, our agendas.

Seek out one opportunity to say a positive word to someone that deserves it. Refrain, just once, from making that comment that you know is off and won’t be taken well. Golden Rule, mis amigos, Golden Rule…

Throw Rocks at Boys

*FYI: This was written about one year ago before I met my current BF; nonetheless, I still hold true to each word.

Confesión numero 2: There is a thin line between boys and men

See, this would not be a problem if I were actually 17 and frivolous. Please get your mind out of the Dateline predator gutter --- I do not actually like boys, like young children that I teach or something. What kind of teacher do you take me for? Mari nor Mary Kay LaTorneau…I digress. I mean more of a concept of who I am attracted to, or have been attracted to for some time.

At times, I feel that it is ludicrous how ridiculous my men situations have transpired for the past four years. I spent three plus years playing “mommy” to someone that could only verbally commit to some grand figment of both of our mature imaginations. No offense, just telling it like it is. So then {wiping sweat off my brow} after giving my all to that, I decide that I am going to be grown and learn to play the “field”. Shortly after, I realized that the “field” in DC was more like playing the “2x2’’ box” of nothingness once you factor out the old men and the men on the “downlow”. The pickings are slim, child! Well, I have chosen to fall in and out of a childish situation with someone that I like but cannot simply moving things along, even a damn inch. WTF! I’m fabulous and I refuse to let his childish fear of commitment mask that fact. Yes, I have an ego, and what?!?

And I have no excuse, though, because with my Ivy league smarts, NYC wit and Dominican genes, something has to give. So I have resolved that I must internally enjoy the feeling of being smarter, more financially stable and more stable than my potential suitors --- WRONG! I feel that I deserve better, but where does “better” live so I can knock on his door?

What is the problem? Do I overanalyze? Are my expectations too high? Is it truly them and not me, like most guys say?

What gives?

While you ponder, feel free to play my favorite online game ever:
http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/games/throwrocks.html