Confesión numero 2: There is a thin line between boys and men
See, this would not be a problem if I were 17 and frivolous. Please get your mind out of the Dateline predator gutter --- I do not actually like boys, like the young children that I teach or something. What kind of teacher do you take me for? My name is Mari not Mary Kay LaTourneau…I digress. I mean more of a concept of who I am attracted to, or have been attracted to for some time, which has been a hybrid of man mixed with boyish behavior and tendencies.
At times, I feel that it is ludicrous how ridiculous my men situations have transpired for the past four years. I spent three plus years playing “mommy” to someone that could only verbally commit to some grand figment of both of our mature imaginations. No offense, just telling it like it is. So then {wiping sweat off my brow} after giving my all to that, I decide that I am going to be grown and learn to play the “field”. Shortly after, I realized that the “field” in DC was more like playing the “2x2’’ box” of nothingness once you factor out the old men and the men on the “downlow”. The pickings are slim, child! Well, I have chosen to fall in and out of a childish situation with someone that I like but cannot simply moving things along, even a damn inch. WTF! I’m fabulous and I refuse to let his childish fear of commitment mask that fact. Yes, I have an ego, and what?!?
And I have no excuse, though, because with my Ivy league smarts, NYC wit and Dominican genes, something has to give. So I have resolved that I must internally enjoy the feeling of being smarter, more financially stable and more stable than my potential suitors --- WRONG! I feel that I deserve better, but where does “better” live so I can knock on his door?
What is the problem? Do I overanalyze? Are my expectations too high? Is it truly them and not me, like most guys say?
What gives?
In the meantime, feel free to enjoy my favorite online game ever:
http://www.davidandgoliathtees.com/games/throwrocks.html
