Confesión número seis: Self pity is one of the most killer emotions known to man
As we are on the brink of a new year, many of us (even those who profess that resolutions are crap) put some thought into how to evolve into less crappy versions of our current selves with less toxic people and situations to bring us down. Today, as we all drew a day closer to 2011, I got hit with the case of the "woe-is-me" something awful. Literally in a span of 5 minutes, due to a situation so minute it is not even worth discussing, my entire day was shot to sh*t. I was moping around the grocery store, lost my appetite and literally cried my eyes out for at least 10 minutes (snot and all- it was a total mess)...all because of that heiffer "self pity".
Now, I am usually all for expressing emotions good or bad; By the looks of my afternoon, I did just that. I let myself feel bad for myself, had the violin to my clavicle and all that, playing a sad, sad song. But, sometimes every emotion has its more rational cousin. Self- pity's cousin, gratitude, paid a visit a few minutes ago.
As I embark on another year of life, despite how 2010 sometimes shat on my desires and best wishes, I am totally thankful. I have so many people to thank for hearing me out, housing me (yes, you Rocky), encouraging me and letting me be my loca self. I have a great career, an amazing network of friends, family and colleagues and have accomplished much in these past 12 months. Not everything I wanted, but enough for now. As for self-pity, she got drop kicked in the temple. If not permanently gone, she will be gone long enough for me to enjoy the small remnants of 2010 with some bubbly in hand and friends all around.
See you in 2011,
Mari
Friday, December 31, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Watch your Words
Confesión número cinco: Our inclination to judge keeps us from reaffirming others’ beauty
After a long hiatus from my confesiones, I really feel the urge to continue to give my thoughts a new home in addition to their palace in my mind because they are on overdrive most days.
I want to get a few things off my chest that I hope gets us all moving in the right direction, especially females but really the entire human race (yes, fellas, I guess you are kinda human most days). My girl Irene alerted me to Operation Beautiful, which in essence, reminds women of their worth and beauty by leaving post-it notes in unsuspecting locations that say "You are beautiful". A bit corny or syrupy sweet, yes but, I deem, very necessary. Now, our cynical worldview often tells us that “it’s all about me” and “eff the world”, but since that has done zilch to move us forward, I am all for people trying each other like people – not savages. Spreading a positive word can lessen the sting that most of us feel from the negative "vampires" in our lives.
Most importantly, the judgments --- THEY HAVE TO GO. In the past week, I have experienced from the pettiest to the most cutting attacks to my character, my choices and overall realized the attacks were on me. Now, as an experienced side-eyer (yes, it is a word) and confident woman, I usually do not let it get to me. But, it has me thinking more carefully about what I say and why I say anything to anyone-- from a cherished friend to the homeless dude on the corner--- words matter. Intent often does not match the impact of our words, and I would rather use my words wisely to speak a logical truth that to just spew utter nonsense into the universe. God, Allah, Buddha, Shiva, Mother Nature --- don’t like ugly so please cut it out.
And, one more thing, it is not about freedom of speech; it is beyond your constitutional right to say what you want. All I am saying is that with such a precious freedom, many of us lacked the responsibility to use our words to lift others up but just aggrandize ourselves, our views, our agendas.
Seek out one opportunity to say a positive word to someone that deserves it. Refrain, just once, from making that comment that you know is off and won’t be taken well. Golden Rule, mis amigos, Golden Rule…
After a long hiatus from my confesiones, I really feel the urge to continue to give my thoughts a new home in addition to their palace in my mind because they are on overdrive most days.
I want to get a few things off my chest that I hope gets us all moving in the right direction, especially females but really the entire human race (yes, fellas, I guess you are kinda human most days). My girl Irene alerted me to Operation Beautiful, which in essence, reminds women of their worth and beauty by leaving post-it notes in unsuspecting locations that say "You are beautiful". A bit corny or syrupy sweet, yes but, I deem, very necessary. Now, our cynical worldview often tells us that “it’s all about me” and “eff the world”, but since that has done zilch to move us forward, I am all for people trying each other like people – not savages. Spreading a positive word can lessen the sting that most of us feel from the negative "vampires" in our lives.
Most importantly, the judgments --- THEY HAVE TO GO. In the past week, I have experienced from the pettiest to the most cutting attacks to my character, my choices and overall realized the attacks were on me. Now, as an experienced side-eyer (yes, it is a word) and confident woman, I usually do not let it get to me. But, it has me thinking more carefully about what I say and why I say anything to anyone-- from a cherished friend to the homeless dude on the corner--- words matter. Intent often does not match the impact of our words, and I would rather use my words wisely to speak a logical truth that to just spew utter nonsense into the universe. God, Allah, Buddha, Shiva, Mother Nature --- don’t like ugly so please cut it out.
And, one more thing, it is not about freedom of speech; it is beyond your constitutional right to say what you want. All I am saying is that with such a precious freedom, many of us lacked the responsibility to use our words to lift others up but just aggrandize ourselves, our views, our agendas.
Seek out one opportunity to say a positive word to someone that deserves it. Refrain, just once, from making that comment that you know is off and won’t be taken well. Golden Rule, mis amigos, Golden Rule…
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