Confesión número cinco: Our inclination to judge keeps us from reaffirming others’ beauty
After a long hiatus from my confesiones, I really feel the urge to continue to give my thoughts a new home in addition to their palace in my mind because they are on overdrive most days.
I want to get a few things off my chest that I hope gets us all moving in the right direction, especially females but really the entire human race (yes, fellas, I guess you are kinda human most days). My girl Irene alerted me to Operation Beautiful, which in essence, reminds women of their worth and beauty by leaving post-it notes in unsuspecting locations that say "You are beautiful". A bit corny or syrupy sweet, yes but, I deem, very necessary. Now, our cynical worldview often tells us that “it’s all about me” and “eff the world”, but since that has done zilch to move us forward, I am all for people trying each other like people – not savages. Spreading a positive word can lessen the sting that most of us feel from the negative "vampires" in our lives.
Most importantly, the judgments --- THEY HAVE TO GO. In the past week, I have experienced from the pettiest to the most cutting attacks to my character, my choices and overall realized the attacks were on me. Now, as an experienced side-eyer (yes, it is a word) and confident woman, I usually do not let it get to me. But, it has me thinking more carefully about what I say and why I say anything to anyone-- from a cherished friend to the homeless dude on the corner--- words matter. Intent often does not match the impact of our words, and I would rather use my words wisely to speak a logical truth that to just spew utter nonsense into the universe. God, Allah, Buddha, Shiva, Mother Nature --- don’t like ugly so please cut it out.
And, one more thing, it is not about freedom of speech; it is beyond your constitutional right to say what you want. All I am saying is that with such a precious freedom, many of us lacked the responsibility to use our words to lift others up but just aggrandize ourselves, our views, our agendas.
Seek out one opportunity to say a positive word to someone that deserves it. Refrain, just once, from making that comment that you know is off and won’t be taken well. Golden Rule, mis amigos, Golden Rule…
